Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
