I feel like I'm in dance class right now
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
