Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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