yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
