his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
