Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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