He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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