I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Even the bartender felt bad for me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
