You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
