she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
