She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
