Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
