If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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