whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
