Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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