I will die if light touches me.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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