I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
