Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
