she looked like the before picture.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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