Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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