she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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