this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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