absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
