You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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