and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
