Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
