after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
