I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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