Three words: puerto rican gang bang
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
