i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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