yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
