Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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