He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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