I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
