dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
