So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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