You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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