Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Shitshow foam night was such a success
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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