i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
