omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
pray to the hookup gods
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
