If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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