i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
