but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
