Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
