3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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