What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you would pick up someone in the library
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Boobs speak an international language.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
