found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
