I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
