I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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