Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
