I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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