no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
