Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
